Imaginary
by Yume Setsuna
Summary: Songfic! My first and probably only Kurama is having nightmares. Not your average everyday nightmares, but ones that could kill. HieiKurama shonenai.


Ohiyo everyone! I'm back on track with writing fics! (finally) This one is an old songfic I wrote for a contest, I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Simple as that. :3

Done from kurama's pov  
I lie there. Another dream? Why was I always having these nightmares? Is there something wrong with me?

_I linger in the doorway  
of alarm clock screaming monsters  
calling my name_

A sudden jolt. I'm awake now. Usually these nightmares lasted longer, but, yet, they seem so real. My face is plastered with sticky wet sweat. I need to get out a while. Carefully not trying to wake my parents or my younger half brother, I grab my coat and leave without a trace. Where do I go…I wouldn't want to bother anyone quite this late at night. Wondering down the empty streets, it's quite out, very quite. I turn left. The park sounds like a good option. Sitting myself on a slightly worn bench I look up at the sky. No stars tonight. I reflect on my past dreams….

Screaming, falling, nothing. It's all blank. I'm afraid. There's no one here, then I hear voices. It's my family. They're laughing. Am I finally out of this nightmare? Foolishly thinking so I follow, but it disappears and I am once again effulged in darkness…

These dreams have been going on a while. At least a few months. They're different every time I dream. It confuses me and scares me both. I have them every night. I haven't noticed it quite yet, but I'm not even speaking that much anymore. What's going on? I put my hands on my head. The urge to sleep comes upon me, but I ignore it. There's so much I want to know, but I don't. I should go back now, its almost dawn. As I sneak back into my home I see that no one has actually noticed my absence. Good. I slip back into bed, and slumber takes me…

I am in the same dream, again. Why? Its all dark, but, now, something is terribly wrong. Not like my other dreams. I am mad, frustrated, and scared now. A tear escapes. Then I feel a terrible pain stab me. Right through the chest. It hurts. More emotionally than physically though. As I fall, I see a familiar face. A sweet face, but now not as the one I was used to knowing. Hiei…

_Let me stay  
where the wind will whisper to me  
where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story_

I can't wake up. This is horrifying. I'm trapped in my own dream world, and I can't wake up. Panic. That's all I feel. Complete panic. Control yourself. I'm starting to calm down, but I still cant wake up. Is this death? Could be. Or could it be an enemy who has corrupted my mind like this. I want to scream as loud as humanly possible, but as I open my mouth, I hear nothing but a faint whisper. Then I start to fall again. Into that same black darkness. Falling…faster…faster…falling…wont stop…

_Falling…  
Falling…_

Just kill me now. I don't care. I'm inviting death it to take me now. I close my eyes. Come on. Let death come.

_In my field of paper flowers  
and candy clouds of lullaby  
I lie inside myself for hours  
and watch my purple sky fly over me_

I feel alone. No, I don't feel it, I know it. I can't stand it. Why am I still in darkness! I scream this time, as loud as ever. Loud enough to break that dream barrier that allows me back into my real world but doesn't. I'm still trapped. Wondering why I haven't died yet. I let death come.

_Don't say im out of touch  
With this rampant chaos, your reality  
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge  
the nightmare I built my own world to escape_

Then I stop. Horrible. Not slowly. A jolt of sudden nothing. I know i've stopped because it hurt. This is real. This is a dream, but its real. This is reality. I am really going to die. I can feel it, but, its torture. Something is torturing me till no end. It wont let me die. Why am I feeling this? What made this come on? What the hell is going on?

It's still dark. I want to scream again, but I know it won't work. I'm sick of this. I feel alone and dead, but I know I'm not. Why wont it end? I whisper to myself, why?

_In my field of paper flowers  
and candy clouds of lullaby  
I lie inside myself for hours  
and watch my purple sky fly over me_

I won't die. This wont let me go. I was wrong. A sudden rush of complete pain came. I knew it. I'm dying. Wait. I…see…

Light.

A single ray of complete pure light in a completely dark world of what I have been trapped in. I can hear someone calling my name. This time it was real. No obstruct form of my dream. This was actually real.

Relief. Let me follow the light. I try, no. Something, it wont let me go. Struggling I try and follow, why cant I? It hit me. This whole dream, this whole dark damn depressing dream world is because of me. I was afraid of something, something…deep, and I knew what.

_Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming  
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights  
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming  
The goddess of imaginary light_

And now, I was let go. I was let go of the horrible demented blank darkness that had held me prisoner for so long. My own denial, I let go of it.

My eyes snapped open. Hiei was sitting there, fear in his eyes. He was the one, who had been calling, or yelling, my name during that horrible night. I saw relief fill his feared eyes, yes, I was all right.

Its okay. I said to him. I threw my arms around his neck so he would know that it was true. We broke the embrace and looked in each other's eyes.

"You worried me fox. I thought you were going to die." He said.

"I did too." I told him back, and then laid a sweet kiss along his tender lips. He didn't deny it.

_In my field of paper flowers  
and candy clouds of lullaby_

I know now why I was having those nightmares. I was afraid that hiei would reject me, as stupid as that sounds, but it's not stupid. Many people are afraid of rejection from the ones they loved. I was part of that, but now I know, that whatever I go through, I will still love him. And he will still love me. This is no dream, no imaginary world of mine. No, this was real.

_I lie inside myself for hours  
and watch my purple sky fly over me_


End file.
